Man Flu

The weather has changed and the kids have been back at school for a few weeks. Along come the inevitable bugs. I’ve been suffering from the cold for the last few days and am feeling generally rubbish. I want to talk about the idea of man flu and how I don’t think it’s particularly helpful.

Imagine the scene. A guy is on the sofa with a cold, sniffling, blowing his nose and drinking a hot drink. Someone in his family turns to him and says “You’re not ill, that’s just man flu”. The remark was maybe meant as a joke but what does it say to the man on the sofa?

Does it say “I’m here for you” or “Don’t complain as it’s not bad enough”. I suppose my question is, when are things “bad enough” for guys to be able to talk about them? Also if men can’t talk about the small stuff, how will they have the tools to talk when things get hard?

It feels like we’ve got ourselves into a situation where people need to be heroes and keep carrying on, regardless of the situation. Statements like ‘man up’ and ‘no pain, no gain’, don’t help us to connect with how we’re feeling and be able to communicate that to others. How often do we dose up on painkillers, rather than trying to listen to our bodies and what they’re telling us?

What is antidote to this? It’s quite simple but not necessarily easy. Communicating and being there for others, shows them they are supported and loved. We don’t know what’s going on for another person physically and mentally, so it’s important not to minimise it.

If we show the people we care about that it’s ok to talk about the small stuff. They will hopefully be able to open up when things get tough. Let’s encourage others to connect with how they feel, rather than shut them down because it’s not bad enough.